Today is my godfathers birthday who passed away 4 years ago. I didn't get to sleep til 2AM last night. I feel very sad and lost today. I just need the support right now.

I haven't been taking care of myself lately. I know that is something I need to work on. Today I am going to go run some errands and go pick up some books from the library. I haven't read in such a long time. I know I need to get back to doing things that are important to me especially on days like this.

I woke up early in the… Continue

I don't always have the best maturity in relationships with others. When people suggest to me to do something a certain way my first reaction is usually that they are criticizing me and think I'm dumb. Especially with my aunt but with others as well. When someone tells me I've made a mistake I get defensive and puff myself up. I am only human and there is nothing wrong with making a mistake but I still have the disease of wanting to be perfect. Which, is prideful and only makes me feel worse abo… Continue

I am feeling better tonight. I thought of HALT. And realizes I was hungry, tired, and angry. I got something to eat and rested a bit. I realize that it is so important what I see and feel about myself on the inside. I usually am so concerned about the outside. But, I also need to like what is inside of me. I am still learning to like myself on the outside and inside. I have my yucky moments like today. I watched the movie about Georgia O'Keeffe and I related to what her life was like with her hu… Continue

Today was such a hectic day for me. First I mailed the break up/goodbye letter to my boyfriend. I just told him the truth. It hurt me when he through this girl in my face and if she is there for him then that's great but I don't deserve to be treated this way. I truly believe if it was between keeping her friendship or our relationship he would choose there friendship. It seems like that's what is already happening. I said if he didn't want to live with me or marry me that was fine but I am tire… Continue

The day has come and gone. I'm really tired and not looking forward to the rest of this week. I keep thinking about him and I didn't hear from him tonight so I hope that he is OK. I have been spending more time with God lately. I just feel spiritually empty and dry when I don't. I've been struggling with my self esteem lately. It's something I know I have to continuously work on. I am in school and I am glad about that. Taking writing classes for now. And I can't wait to get out of this town.